The One

So ‘the One’ campaign got my thoughts running. I read the online ‘backlash’ over it and the various comments and all I could mummer was mmh. You see, for me two thoughts lingered;

One was the good Lord had used these people to push the campaign further and deeper. Regardless of what their views were, am sure one person out there was curious about this whole thing and found themselves wanting to know more than people’s opinions.

My other thought was, since when is it okay to have the world advertise events and yet it shouldn’t be okay for the gospel to be advertised. One of the posts said and I quote,

“If God called you, He will finish what He started. You don’t need to struggle, finding ways of marketing Him, finding ways of publicising Him, making all kinds of connections for Him.
Please don’t help God, He will help Himself; just avail yourself as an instrument.”

My inner spirit was awash with all sentiments over this. But since am currently training myself not to allow my emotions be easily swayed by people’s thoughts and opinions. I moved right on past the post knowing the truth.

And He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. Mark 16:15

If I have to reach that one soul by being creative in my ‘publicising’ Jesus, Oh yes, I will!

Before I digress completely, I will leave that right there and go to THE ONE. First of all I was so excited about the one campaign and knew who I was going to be praying for in my head. But when Mosze explained how the one campaign was going to work, how I had to minister to the one, call them, go out for a meal with them. Pardon!! My brain immediately started searching for another ‘one’ hahaha! Why? Because I knew for a fact that I will not call or dine with my ’one.’ But within the same sigh God reminded of a time I took some time off a few years ago to pray for this one person who did not get saved at the time but is now even in theology school hehehe.

Let me tell you about my sister. My mother brought us up in the knowledge and love of Christ Jesus. We all greatly participated in church activities all the way from Sunday school. But along the way my older sister discovered life! ‘Hayaaa!!’ She did it all. Ate life with a big spoon, had a baby in her senior six, she was able to close the bars every week, made beautiful smoke rings etc. Our mother was helpless at that point. She had lost her sight due to glaucoma but also this was an adult already out of her home. What was she supposed to do?? She was a respected elder in the church but she had this one child that some people ‘judged’ her for as if their lives were so perfect.

She did what she knew best. Went on her knees for her daughter’s life. She begged me and the other siblings to do the same. I started off reluctantly but deep down I knew it was what I wanted too. Why was I reluctant? Because I personally felt like she was far too gone. I would see her leaving the bar at 6am. Our mutual friends would tell me what she was up to and my heart would just sink further each time. Our mother was ‘spared the vision’ and tales of all these and that’s why I felt sorry for her. She did not know or see the depth of how bad. My Imagination was that God could not pick my sister up again. The ship had long sailed away and I had taken a front row seat with the judging committee. But I prayed anyway.

Years went by and at some point, for about 2 months she went AWOL. When she surfaced it was;

“I have class, am doing bible school.” I was in utter shock! Questions in my head, since when? What happened? Are you okay? (Do you see doubting Thomas’s sister? hehehe) I talked to mum after she was gone and I said, “I am holding my breath over this one.” And she said to me, “I thought we were praying together.”

Well, my ‘far too gone’ sister now leads our family altar and is just about to finish theology school. So yes, our God does not know ‘far too gone.’ He will go after that one person regardless! Do not give up on them no matter how bad it seems.






Finding Him.

You know when you reach a point in life when you understand God on a whole different level? When you start to feel him inside your bones? Let me try to speak to someone out there…
I literally grew up in the church. Rightly put, my mother made sure me and my siblings not only knew the Lord but we were also involved in ministry. From Sunday school to youth ministry things to campus I have always known God and the power of his resurrection (pun Intended). Read his word, could quote ‘normal’ (the usual) scripture whenever, wherever, went for camps, retreats, conferences. The whole shebang!! Now do you understand what level of Christ I had in me or so I thought?

Buuut when people would say, God has told them ABC. I would wonder… eh, yiiyi how? They must be too spiritual to walk this earth normally. Maybe they float. Are they are like Moses, Noah and ‘gundi’ in the bible?? WOW! How holy?? How special? Eiish! they must have never sinned, in thought, word and deed. Through negligence, through weakness, through their own deliberate fault. I only believed that portion was for pastors, reverends and the like. ‘Mbu’ my sheep hear my voice and they whaattiiii?? Gosh! I did not relate with such things.

And theeen come 2018, God stripped me of everything I held valuable in life at the time. My job, my family and so many other things ( story for another day). I think I say that wrong. He did not strip me of them, he asked me to let them go. I did, and he took me on a journey I am now grateful for. It was my turn; to understand God deeply, walk with him, be filled with the Holy Spirit and discover he has been speaking to me for a long long time but I just did not know it was him. All this time when a random song or scripture would come to my mind, I would just wonder why and move right on. People, revelation and discernment are important in your walk with Christ. I look back and can see the many times he spoke to me and I decided my own apparently rightful things,…stupid child! Point is, I did not feel like and neither was I fire spitting, demon chasing, tongue speaking material. So why would God be speaking to me? I left things of the generals to the generals and did the simple things like dance ministry that in my belief, did not require ‘hearing from God’ hehehe.

Perhaps it’s just being able to be still, listen and feel his presence and know when he is speaking. I used to roll my eyes at such statements… hahaha. Be still? Pray and wait to hear from God? I would sit there… 2min, 5min and by that time my mind is wandering off and still nothing would happen so I would just get up and go on with my day. If anything, I used to think and expect that he would speak with a booming loud voice. (For special effects and understanding, please use a booming loud voice with 3D effects in your own head)
“My Child, thou art the wrong path!!”
Now you get my drift, right?
But noooo no no that’s not it! In his big, glorious and awesome self he doesn’t do that – at least not for me. But when he does speak, it’s quite clear and calm. No need to startle his child hehehe. A particular stanza of a song will settle on your heart and even if you have heard it before, the words will at that moment hold a lot more value with a deeper understanding. You will read the same story of Moses and the Israelites crossing the red sea as you did at age 6. You know the story by heart. Even if you was woken up at gun point at 3am, you would tell it word for word like kaboozi ( conversation). But this time, that same story speaks to you and whatever you are going through. It makes sense!! And by the way not only the part of God parting the red sea but even the clouds that were formed as the Israelites moved will be a solution to what is on your mind. What am I saying? You will read the word and even just the scripture, ‘Jesus wept’ will minister to you from deep within your soul hehehe…. this God of ours!!

The gist of it all is when your eyes and ears are opened to his simplicity, the way his word will literally leap and make sooo much sense. The way you learn to speak to him like he is seated right next to you, and he will answer you even while you take a shower. Yes, I now have special moments like that. I can quote scripture from ‘strange’ books in the bible. Behold! people even have dreams about me and sometimes I know what God is trying to tell me. I now dream things that when Interpreted to me give me an epiphany moment. I am truly enjoying the Lord now and yet I don’t float, I walk this earth like everyone else hihihi.



So After about 3 years, here I AM!! This right here takes the Procrastination Trophy in my life… 3 years later, Is when I am actually posting!! Warisdis!??? Anyway, I purposed to take the reins back concerning my life with all that I planned/purposed to do, and this is one of them. wululu!!! (Insert celebratory dance move of choice)

See quite a couple of times I had people tell me, ‘You need to start a blog.’ ‘You write quite interestingly.’ ‘what is the link to your blog?’ Am like – Wide eyed! My thoughts, It mainly works for celebrities, Intending celebrities and the like. As in they have people that want to be in their business and know what is going on all around and in them… I have no plan of being in that particular direction. I, Kesiime, usually have some sense of privacy even with my writing and was comfortable with posting my random things on FaceBook not Twitter, FaceBook! and only a year ago, did I get comfortable with Insta.  I did not have the comfort to just have a following that I had to let in on my life. Facebook was doing above and beyond – in my eyes. LOL! Well, Here is ME… Twist to it, is this time, It is assignment based hehehe. I have no way out. Otherwise, I could have put it aside again… (wink) and my trophy winner, would be ready to take it home – again! He always is, but not this time!!

So I have always loved writing especially about actual events in my life… I can be quite elaborate till I have actual imagery playing out in your mind so take a seat in the 5D section of my little brain as we do the life journey together. I write quite a bit to self, been writing emails to my now 2 year old daughter. I believe its one of the reasons I stopped writing or had no interest in writing on any social media platform. I was secretly getting my fix on the other side like a junkie! wink wink

And now, Here We Are! Full blown! To my friend, who once told me during church, ‘Do you not have Data anymore or is OTT the problem?’ ‘Tell me where the kizibu (problem) is, and I will sort you out.’ – Husky. I laughed and said, I would be back. Pssst… with no plan to! But YESSSS I Have Arrived, In the Parking and here to stay. Lets Do This!!!



Proud Maama!

The happy butterflies all around me have refused to let go of me from the 23rd Nov 2019. I will not give you a chance to wonder why?? I will go right ahead and tell you!

So, my daughter’s first concert was on the 23rd Nov 2019! Yes, my AbbyWabby was going to be on stage singing and dancing with ‘her other kids.’ Don’t try to make sense of that, let me explain it. My baby believes whoever is not her brother is her kid. She calls them her kids to mean friends or classmates.

I got excited about this from the moment they started practising for the D-day. My Abby kept me abreast with all the songs, actions and dance routines. She would ask me to sing and dance with her every day after school. You can imagine being so tired after a long day’s work and you have to sing, I’ve got the Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy! Down in my heart! It was always fun but not funny when I had to be given directions on how to or told to repeat over and over again when I was tired! But, am still glad I did it because it made her happy!

Come D-day and my one did not disappoint! Abby was an excited bunny on stage. She jumped around and sung like she was going to be paid. Even when the rest were unsure of what was going on, some crying to not even get on stage. In her not being sure, she enjoyed the moment. Dancing and jumping around with reckless abandon. While the rest of the kids went off stage to change and prepare for the next presentation, she got back on as the DJ played another song and danced all by herself hehehe. I did not know whether to hide or cheer her on because I was not so sure where this was going. So I sat down and just laughed as I recorded the moment. Thing is, I was seeing a mini-me in action. Hehehe. I just did not relate to the confidence to get up and dance in front of a gathering by herself without being asked to.

But I will tell you what shocked me the most at the end of the day. After all the events of the day, it was time for the kids graduating to be presented with awards. There were two extra awards given, and one of them – Certificate for Best Character was awarded to my Abigail! Good Lord, I teared! My energy bunny had the best character in the school for the year 2019. I could never have been more proud! It felt like I was awarded a certificate for Best Mother in the whole wide world!! Hahahaha But in all honesty, it is an assurance that I am doing well as her mother! Character is such an important aspect because it speaks love and respect for other people regardless of who they are.

I am so proud of you my AbbyWabby, So Proud!!


In that Place

I am in that place! I am in that place of uncertainty. That place that is grey and hazy! That place that leaves you uneasy. That place that leaves you unsure of who you are. That place that makes you doubt… Not just yourself but what God has put before you. I feel inadequate for the Job. How is it going to span out? Why me anyway?? I keep thinking he should have chosen someone else. Like I am not the one cut out for this.

You see, as human beings, we prefer to have our lives cut out in black and white. You know where you are going and how you are getting there. When you are not sure about something, it can be unsettling! We tend to rely on facts and easily expected outcomes.

Now, there is nothing as disturbing for me when am not so sure of what am doing. When I don’t even know why am doing what am doing. And that is where I am right now. It is so uncomfortable for me! I know what God has promised me, but then how??? How am I going to get there?

Please allow me to liken it to having been told to go cross the red sea but you don’t know how? By boat or by air? If it is by air, what flight are you getting on anyway? How long is the flight? What time will you arrive? But you are at the airport anyway waiting for take-off, with no idea when that is either!! Wait a minute, why the heck are you even crossing the red sea?? Ok, cross it, then what? What will I be doing on the other side?? Aaargh!! Quite disturbing, right? I fear for the place Isaac was in when he was going up the mountain with his father but no animal for the sacrifice.

Truth is am afraid! Afraid of all that God has put before me. Afraid that I will mess it up. Afraid that I am not qualified enough to even do what he is asking of me. Loooorrrdd, I feel too young to even be here. I am afraid! Afraid that it will not come to pass as he has spoken.

But either way, for now, all I know is….. I will stand on his word. The when, how, why, where will remain confusing but I will keep saying this to my spirit;

So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it. (Is 55:11 – NKJV)



For Your Glory!

I first heard the Song – ‘For your glory’ back in early 2017. I just sang it… not with depth but with some ‘ka’ meaning. I can easily say I just enjoyed it then. But here I am in 2019, now I sing it with so much depth and some bit of eh! do I really mean that? Because now, I know the God am singing to at a much deeper level. Let’s go through it together – with my thoughts…
Lord if I
Find favour in Your sight

( I am sure I have found favour with you. And you have bestowed favour upon me with men countless times. Even when I have been undeserving of it. Now… )
Lord, please
Hear my hearts cry

( Please don’t just hear me, Listen as I cry out to you!…)
I’m desperately waiting
To be where You are

( I honestly cannot imagine living without you or even living out of your will…)
I’ll cross the hottest desert
I’ll travel near or far

( Now this is the part that scares me. Do I really mean it? ‘Crossing a desert’ is tough! ‘Hottest desert???’ I sure would be flooded with thoughts of giving up. Now, you and I know I have had instances where I have easily given up! Theeen I crawl back…)
For Your glory
I will do anything

( Because that place,… that place where I have debated doing things just for you! Sigh. It is a really tight corner for me every time. It is downright uncomfortable! I have lost all my pride, I have felt stupid, looked like a fool, felt afraid and unsure of myself… and asked myself, do you really want to do this??)
Just to see You
To behold You as my King!

( And yet at that moment, I get reminded that it’s not about me. It is about You! I want to smile at you receiving all the glory.)
I wanna be where you are
I gotta be where you are

( I want to be in that place… where Peace, Joy and Love abound! Whatever it takes, I want to be right there!)

Listen in, let it speak to you.


When God Speaks

Last year, I dived into finding God for real! I wanted to know and understand his purpose for me on a much deeper level.

I have written about how Yes, I was a Christian, born again to be exact, but for a long time could not relate with God spoke to me statements. I only believed he did that for the pastors and the like. People who spent endless hours in prayer and I very rarely did… hihihi

Anyhow, one fine day as I was walking into Kampala House of Prayer, a random guy stops me and says,

“Hello, I had a dream about you.”

You can imagine my thoughts at that time. I was in no mood to listen to some nonsensical lies about how God had told him blah blah. I had to ask my brain to calm down and listen.

I said, ‘Oh okay!’

Stood there with ‘the look’ waiting to listen to his ‘lies.’ So he says, “I had a dream that you were pregnant, about to give birth!”

I almost burst into laughter at him. Let’s just say I did, – in my head. Now it totally sounded like one of those guys who just say they had dreams. I think he saw my face change.

So he asks, “Are you asking God for a child?”

‘Nope!’ I answered as I shook my head vehemently

So he looks on, and 3 seconds later, he says, “Then you are going to birth something!” Something new and divine!”

I kid you not, I rolled my eyes!

“Alright,” I answered as I started to walk away from him. He went on to say he is going to continue in prayer for me, God will make it clearer. I nodded in the affirmative and walked on to take a seat and start my devotion.

I sat down and immediately started cancelling the dream!! Me?? Another child! Now?? Oh, hell no!!! But sincerely, I am here praying for ABC you are there busy giving me Z! Things I have not even thought of! Are you okay? Do you see how many other things I have to deal with? Are you even looking at my prayer requests? Ok, at least heal mum’s eyesight first! And I still don’t want another Child – just yet! Then I started to feel guilty. How about those out there asking for just a child and here I am saying No! But I still said, Nedda! Please bless another woman who is crying out to you for a child. I thanked God very much so for my AbbyWabby but said no to another child – for now. I even remember saying, “God, don’t even go there and next time, if you are actually going to talk to me, please don’t send me these ‘bafere’ to speak fwaaa into my life.” hahaha

Exactly two weeks later, a prayerful friend told me the very same thing! You know those friends who you know, that you know, that you know – without a doubt have a super-glue relationship with God compared to you? hihihi. Those ones who pray endlessly, teach the word with so much depth and Yes, you can see that God is using them for his Kingdom. My eyes widened in shock!

He said, “Charity something new, something divine is going to come out of you. You are literally pregnant with it right now! God is going to use you – You are going to give birth to it, for His Glory!”

I sighed so heavily!

It all made sense now! This is what God was trying to say to me. That other random guy had said the same thing, it’s just the interpretation that was kind of skewed. Meehhn, you should have heard my apology to God in prayer hahaha. I returned with my tail in hand and begged him to use me for His Glory!


My Touring Kampala Experience

Truth be told, if this was not a class assignment, I am not so sure I would be any bit convinced to do it. Me, get out of my house to go drive around …hmm no, accept to be driven around the seven hills of Kampala city?! Like I would have come up with a thousand better things or experiences to go through than that. I mean, I was born and bred in Kampala city, what new thing would there be to see or know about? I was wrong! Absolutely wrong!

There are way too many things I realised did not know about my city and its history. I actually now want to know much more than I already know. I feel like there is still so much more to discover. So much more I know nothing about. In fact, I can not even say I was born and bred – I have just lived in a third of the city. It was such an awesome experience!

Ready to Roll!!

Me and my other awesome people and classmates at the top of the double decker sight seeing buses!

For starters, Imagine I had no idea how the name Kampala came to be! The 7hills of Kampala city; I had learnt in school but yeah at my age, I had not been to one of the hills ever before!…shyly hides face! The naming of Nakasero, In my head, it was any Luganda name. No idea that it was based on a historical incident involving baskets. I knew the independence monument and when it was done but had never known its actual interpretation and the fact that it was not done by a Ugandan! I did not know that the monument at the constitutional square was dedicated to the people that fought and died in world war 1 and 2! Somehow, I thought it was just a plaque that said opened by ‘gundi’ and probably dedicated to the upholding of the Ugandan constitution hehehe…

Did you know that Rubaga Cathedral is actually Lubaga, not Rubaga? The Baganda do not have names or words that start with R, its L. I personally always knew it was Rubaga! in fact, I would eyes people badly for saying Lubaga! Imagine the Ignorance! Pssst, The Cathedral is an exact replica of another Cathedral in a European country.

The King of Buganda has a palace on Mengo hill and on another hill across from it, is the parliament of Buganda. The distance between the two is about one mile also known as The Royal Mile. Never had I noticed this. But more interesting is the fact that in-between is a roundabout that has a drum split in half. The very few times I have used that roundabout, I always wondered why there was a small gate between the half drums and a way through? When did they ever open the ka gate for people to go through? Yes, there is a reason why!! And No, no one passes through the gate. It is reserved for His Royal Highness.

The Royal Mile!

The white building at the top of the other hill is the Buganda Parliamentary building.

Countless times, the older generation have talked of Idi Amin and his ‘torture chambers.’ I finally saw one and stood inside of it. The horrific imagination as you stand inside this sort of dungeon is REAL! There was no way one was able to escape…ALIVE! Once you got in, you would only get out of there dead. And to imagine this happened at a place that was once the King’s palace… shaking my head!

The entrance to the torture chambers at Mengo. Through the wall alley to the thick darkness that welcomes you up ahead.

But away from the thought of that, I entered a mosque for the very first time! The Gadaffi Mosque in Old Kampala is actually quite a beautiful mosque. Literally, all the material that was used to build this mosque was imported. Not even the wood was from Uganda. The carpet was custom made and speaks to the architectural design of the mosque. The highlight for me at the mosque, was climbing up a flight of 272 stairs of their minaret! My cuffs are still in pain, but I totally loved the view of Kampala city from the top.

The doors of the beautiful mosque!

The Chandeliers!

All veiled up.

But also notice the soft custom made carpet that speaks to the architectural design of the mosque.

In this blog post, I have not told you the detail of so many things because I would like for you my reader, to be able to take the tour and experience Kampala for yourself. I hope I have built your curiosity well enough without telling of everything in detail. Please go discover who exactly curved the independence monument? Who is sculptured at the roundabout opposite the independence monument? How did our city get the name Kampala? Why does the kabaka only go through this particular round about? and so much more!


We made it to the top of the minaret!!

Anything For You!

I write this all down with so much excitement! I have a light heart and dorn a smile that would light up any room. I feel like I could be screaming by the roadside and it would be okay! Our God is a big God! When he says he will do it for you, just Trust that HE can!
Now I know that trusting God for what seems very possible is hard enough especially when working with your own timeline. Now having to believe him for impossibilities!! Yeap, I have been there. So yes, I know! Of you try to create different scenarios for God to work with. You build up all these solutions in your head. You think through multiple options and opinions and perhaps all of them are far from being perfect for you. They may not even be solutions at all hehhehe. Learning to Trust God is knowing that he is big enough to see beyond your thoughts and imaginations. Trusting God is believing that he loves you enough to want only the best for you. And that he alone knows what lies ahead of you.
In his bigness, just this year alone, he has caused two national events to work in my favour! Did you read that?? Yes, NATIONAL EVENTS! Even I was in shock! I could not believe that he went that far to sort me out. Just imagine that for him to work something out for me, it had to affect two East African countries. Akalulu ka Yesu!!💃💃
It is said that God will make things happen and to others – the normal eye, it may seem a coincidence or a normal occurrence or even a disaster to some. But to you, that prayed in that direction, you will know, that you know, that YOU KNOW!!! That HE has answered your prayers!
My recent answer on the 24th of August seemed a joke in itself, but I personally knew HE had answered so I got up and run with it.

Not being a prisoner in your own Jail!

So at some point last year, I asked God to help me forgive some ‘gudu’. I told Him that I wanted to forget everything they had said to me. How they had said it, when they had said it and how bad it made me feel. She had insulted and disrespected me so much so it was even embarrassing. As in this madam had the power to make me cry and wonder what I had done sooo bad that necessitated her being mean. The lies she had told about me would make you believe the sun rose from the west! Aiii Yesu!
You know those lies where you cant keep going back to each and everyone and saying that is not true? I did not do that. I did not say that. I wasn’t even there. Looorrrdd it was a lot!
I had a gu ‘mango’ each time I thought of her hahaha. Thinking about her and all that had transpired drained me. I felt betrayed!!
And then I realised I would be stuck in one place if I held on to what she had said and dwelt on it. I could not change the story. So I told God, I want to forget everything and the pain it caused me. I even told him to bless her by putting her as far far away from me. Hehehe.
Perhaps I have just been trying to relay the story to someone else. But honestly, I DO NOT REMEMBER anything the madam said to me! Blank kabisa! I can’t even reconstruct just one sentence she made. Of I have just laughed at how possible it is and yet I was sooo MAD then.
Pssssstttt, I read somewhere that holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else: You are the one that gets burned! The longer you hold the coal, the more you get burnt.

Being a Mother

The year was 1996. I honestly don’t remember where my father was but here was my mother now having to deal with taking me to school or wherever and picking me up. This fine day, I don’t quite remember where we were coming from, but I remember it was a Saturday. I had a school bag on, was not wearing my uniform but had my favourite toy at the time in my hands. A Pingu. If you are born of my generation, you definitely know what Pingu is. He was black at the back, white at the front with huge round eyes and an orange beak. At that time, it was most likely the Dora or Ben 10 of this generation. What am I trying to say? I was a star to have Pingu at the time.

We got into a taxi home and I held it in my hands but dozed off on my mother’s lap. When we reached our destination, Bugolobi, my mother woke me up and we alighted the taxi. As we crossed the road, I realized that I did not have my Pingu. I stood stuck in the middle of the road, and pulled my mum’s skirt and asked her for my Pingu. She looked at me and asked me where I had placed it while dragging me across the road. I said it was in my hands but now I couldn’t find it hahaha. Kids answers…smh.

My mother then looked across and the taxi was setting off. I knew what that meant and I just started crying. She tried to convince me that she would get me another but I was not about to listen. Kindly note, there were no Boda Bodas at that time, only bicycles in the market. So there was clearly no way for her to go after the taxi. The guys at the stage started asking what was wrong cos I was inconsolable. Please know that we were veterans in Bugolobi. The taxi stage guys knew my mum and all her children… as they always did for everyone. She explains, and they said not to worry, the taxi will come back. We should just wait. This taxi was going to go through Kitintale, Luzira to Port-bell and then return. To date, I remember the taxi was maroon in colour. We stood at the stage and waited as I was still crying! The Grace my mother had to stand there with a sobbing child for like 2hours, Yesu!!

The maroon taxi did return, I saw it turn off coming to Bugolobi and tagged on my mum. Who turned, and told the touts. I think in her head she must have prayed that the ’thing’ was still in because having to deal with me was clearly not fathomable. (Insert shy face) The touts and stage manager waved it down and as they were still trying to explain, I scampered in, found it on the floor, picked it up and walked out with a smile.

They all smiled and laughed at me because my heart was finally at peace. My mother thanked them and that was when I remembered to too Hehehe. Off we went home, my heart settled. Every time my Mum and siblings go over this story, they remind me to have the same patience with my daughter. I am not too sure I have the same grace my mother had with us even if people say I do really well with my Abby Wabby. I hope I can be half the mother my mother was to my Children!


His Grace

I recently listened to teaching about the Grace of God that left me dumbfounded. The person used an analogy that resonated so well with my spirit and all I could say was WOW! This was their analogy, I hope it can sit in you that reads this, so deeply as it did me.

A little boy probably about 2 years old was at the airport with his parents. They announce a now boarding call and at that point, this little child decides to scamper off from his parents hehehe. If you have been a parent, you understand this age group. The time when they decide they are old enough to have their way but young enough to bully you to let them have their way. They honestly do not understand what they are asking for the whole time. They are just being 2-year-olds. So anyway, his all so loving Father trots after his child to grab him from going further away because they were nearer the line. Meanwhile, when the little munchkin notices his dad is coming after him, he tries to run a little faster hihihi. Like he was old enough to outrun his father. Dad gets a hold of him and lifts him off the ground. And Yep! as you can imagine, the little one starts kicking and slapping his father to let go of him. But his father tightens his grip on him. Even when he starts to wail, and ‘cry foul’ the Dad smiles at him and gives him a hug to calm him down. He goes ahead to tell him, “am sorry love, you can’t go in that direction now.”

This, my friends, is how God offers us his Grace. Three quarters the time we are most likely to deviate from his plans and we start to head in our own direction. Our loving God will always come chasing after us. Even when we ignore him, and fight him and his ways off, walk far far away from him. HE will still hold onto us with love and offer us Grace like we did not just choose our own ’right way.’ For HE knows he has better plans for us than what we are running after.

grace is an ocean_n

You can imagine if that child was left to go on his own merry way, what havoc he would have caused when it would finally dawn on him that, oh! Mum and Dad are nowhere in sight! The only two people he knows and recognizes are not anywhere near him. Hell would break loose in that airport. But his Father knew his little boy did not know what he was asking for. So he ran after him, grabbed him, and held onto him in his arms, with love regardless of how much he fought. And he did not hold his kicking and slapping against him. He actually did not register it. He just loved on him with a hug and spoke softly to him. That, friend, is our God. He does not register your wrongs. He loves you just the way you are. He will chase after you to keep you from harm and evil.  HE loves you!!


This, my human nature!

Everyone has been in a pit where they felt like they can’t go on, or I can’t do this, or this is it, I give up! Now truth be told, there so many sermons and testimonies on people who had reached their end and given up but God in his all-powerful self-turned everything around. Truth be told when you listen to the testimony you are like wow! God is amazing, he can do mighty things! And theeen a day later you are wondering but,

“Eh! Nga my thing is too big!?” “Surely there is no way out of this one.”

Then you start to coin up solutions in your head. How do I get this done? Then you see how your mind starts to tell you how you can do ABC and maybe this will happen. Do the other then the other person will agree etc etc. I am not even going to tell you again how faithful our God is, because the truth is, HE is! But I would like to relate with you about our human nature. And no! I am not saying I am perfect, Not at all. In fact, I struggle just like anyone.

Oh! How quickly I forget? Of I can come out of one battle, straight into another one and guess what? I will somehow have forgotten how my awesome God sorted out the last battle. Okay no, let me put it this way. Deep down, I will know he did it the last time, he will do it again, but maawe! Usually, the next battle feels like it has a bigger mountain, not a hill. Like the enemy has more ammunition this time. Like the ocean is too wide and too deep, I can’t even see the shore. That’s the moment I usually start to think of how this will play out hehehe. And just by doing so, my heart gets heavier and heavier. All of a sudden my energy goes from 100% to 20% in that split second.

Siggghhh! Obviously, I then start to crawl back to my God with all the heaviness. I just want to throw up all my solutions at his feet so he can relieve me. But Whhhyyyy??? Why do I quickly forget? Hold up, I will not beat myself up, I choose to accept my weakness. I choose to boast all the more gladly in my weakness so that his strength can be manifested and made perfect in me.

HE alone understands my human nature and knows how to deal with me. HE alone is able to catch me before I dive deep into a sea of my own thoughts. HE alone sees my mountain as a bump. Only HE knows am already at the seashore. I will soon look back and wonder why I even dared to think up my own thoughts.